Divorce Attorney Advice: What to Talk about Before Marriage

>> Thursday, October 31, 2013

Keeping your marriage going well is work. Young, starry-eyed couples often feel that the bliss that accompanies the falling-in-love stage will last forever, only to be surprised later on. No, that blissful feeling won’t last forever, and that’s a good thing because it’s very difficult to maintain a career, keep up with adult responsibilities, and even stay in touch with other friends during that first, joyous flush of meeting the person you feel you are destined to be with forever. 

Work on your relationship is necessary when everyday life and responsibilities threaten to pull you apart, which is all the time. But before you tie the knot, it’s incredibly important to be on the same page with your intended on some of the aspects that are most likely to tear a once loving couple apart. If you are engaged or thinking of becoming so, any divorce attorney in Salt Lake City will encourage you to discuss these issues with your loved one in depth. 


You’ve heard it before and it’s absolutely true: money can drive a huge wedge between partners—enough so that money issues are one of the top reasons couples end up getting a divorce. Money is an absolute in your life, so ignoring the topic and hoping love will conquer all is an attitude that is both na├»ve and dangerous. Ask each other your opinions on money. How much is enough? Are you a saver or a spender? How do you feel about debt? How do you feel about credit? If one of you likes to save and the other likes to spend, will you be tempted to lie to each other about money? How angry does it make you when someone doesn’t use money the way you believe it should be used? 


Having children is a big responsibility and will change your life forever. It can also be a deal- breaker for men and women. If one of you is anxious to start a family but the other one cannot conceive the possibility of bringing children into the world for whatever reason, you will need to know this before it becomes a point of resentment and contention. If you do agree on having kids, talk about when and how many. How big are the families in which you grew up? How much money do you feel you need to save/earn/spend in order to provide the kind of life you think they deserve? How will you divide the parenting tasks? 


Another important discussion should center on your faith or any strongly-held religious belief systems you may have. When two people share a common core of basic faith, spiritual, or religious beliefs, marriages tend to last longer because each partner can lend greater support and understanding to the other. While mixed religious marriages can and do work, it can be far more difficult to pull off when each person strongly subscribes to a particular religion or belief and is unwilling to accommodate or support the other partner’s beliefs. When children come into the mix, this issue becomes even more fractious as couples bicker about which belief system in which to raise the children.Dealing with the big issues before you get married will help you avoid having to call a divorce attorney in Salt Lake City


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